One of the greatest challenges we may face on this planet is really owning our. Our triggers, our ignorance, our unconscious programs per se.
Let me give you a personal example.
I was with a good friend the other day, and momentarily was not present and an insensitive thought spewed forward from my mouth, and when I caught it (a minute too late) I was shocked. The comment was meant to be in jest, but what came out was not what I was meaning to say. And I would have never consciously said it. I was basically driving the car with no idea I was driving…
And I immediately felt off from it. And in the moment of shock I did not address what I said. I kinda ducked into the little kid mode.
Now when I left the company of my friend I really had to sit with what had transpired and ask WTF was that. Now in the context of life, this was a trivial comment. And I could certainly pass it off as so, like “ah no big deal”. But deep down I felt it revealed something to me, an old program running in the psyche that on my road to being the best version of myself in this life I do not want running, consciously nor unconsciously.
So I had to bring it to the surface. Explore it a little and face the discomfort of what the thought was and where it originated from. I think it was basically me having a moment of inferiority that someone was so authentic on their journey that I lashed out in jest. But what it revealed was that I must have felt deep down that I am not. That perhaps I am still protecting myself from playing a larger game and keeping a little small… Ah safety for the little ones within!
And so I owned it. I called my friend and apologised, although they indicated they had not even picked up on it from a negative angle. Yet not the point. For me there was a deeper feeling that I could either ignore or face it and own it.
If we ignore such emotions, patterns they will keep repeating. No matter how small we think they may be. So to overcome any of the things we wish to change, grow from or remove from our lives, we have to bring it to our awareness. So it is not running unconsciously. Then we can make conscious decisions in the moment of who we want to be and how we wish to act (neither are concrete…).
And it is the continued small changes and growth spurts we have that lead to bigger shifts. Also for me its very much an ongoing journey as along my way I’ve created/inherited some pretty crappy belief systems and programs. These programs are all pretty much running behind the scenes to keep me safe and protected (think wizard of oz). I think this quote by Aristotle sums it up perfectly: “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man”.
Basically we know from current psychological studies that the first 7 years of our lives are pivotal for the programs we create. And as per the quote, most of us as adults are running the programs of the 7 year olds. Scary.
So in order to grow, we need to own our’s, we need to bring it into our awareness, and be mindful. We need to question all our assumptions and beliefs. How do they serve us?
If they are not helping you move towards your greatest evolution of yourself, then we have to shift them. Own them, acknowledge them and then start to think “How/who do I want to be instead?”
Ah yet there it raises the challenge of change… Oh so easy to say yet so hard to do. And this is where meditation coupled with visualistation becomes so powerful. Weed the garden with meditation then plant it out with visualistion. If you do not do this or are not aware of this let me know and I can send over some brief and simple instructions.
But this all begins with owning it. You are the author, the actor, the producer and publisher all in one. It begins and ends with you. And sure there are always supporting actors, but we are solely responsible for our life. Therefore we need to own it. For some of this, this is a brutal concept as to lay blame at the feet of others has helped us, served us and kept us safe. And for those of us that feel like that, in order for us to evolve, we need to own it, and love it as part of the story and not “the story”. Just a chapter – maybe a long one – but still just a chapter. And in the journey of owning it while we are still pen in hand, it can be mighty uncomfortable, but as per the saying “it is always darkest before the dawn”.
Just keep writing, edit, rewrite, edit until the story is on track to where you wish it to be going. And while you still may not know where the book is going, just focus consciously on the moment and what feels right deep down. From there the next chapters will naturally start to evolve rather than repeat chapters from the past!