As surfers on the east coast of Aus we can find ourselves mid summer wearing steamers, days where the sand could fry and egg, yet thanks to howling northerlies the ocean which is normally a balmy 26 – 28 degrees has been swapped with chilling cold waters (at least for us used to above mentioned temps, not those surfing frigid waters constantly…)
When those of us that are a little more sensitive to cold water comfortably wear 3/2 sealed steamers (full length wetsuits) on scorching hot days,
These cold water currents seem at odds with everything else that is going on.
A little like depression.
A chillingly cold, lonely wave that washes over those of us that have experienced or experience it. A wave that makes no sense and to those that have not met the cold hand of depression cannot grasp, a wave that can crumble the toughest of tough and reduces life to a bitter battle of survival.
Like surfing in a rising storm and all you want to do is get to shore and duck for cover, but getting to shore seems impossible.
Yet to everyone else, that storm is not even visible, in fact, it’s a stunning day in the tropics by comparison and it even may appear that someone in the eye of the storm is too experiencing that “stunning day”, yet internally a war is raging.
Oh the power and the pain of the mask.
So in order to pull that mask off and stare into vulnerability, I too have swam in those storms, battled those currents and had days where life seems too hard, does not make sense and is a battle for the ages, an epic if you will just to go make a bit of breaky. Smile to kids on the way give my better half a hug and all the time hide the fact I feel I was being swept into a tidal current that I could not control.
Two words that pretty much sum it up. Sucks the life out of us. Sucks the joy out of us. Sucks the love out of us. Sucks the colours out of life. It just really sucks.
And makes no sense. Life on the surface can be perfect, kids, work, hobbies, yet it all seems to fall by the wayside to this deep longing to no longer really have to deal with any of it.
Where death would seem like the welcoming an old friend. A safe harbour that just understands beyond the sympathetic nods, the enticing invite that will end all suffering.
Hence why we see people with the “perfect” life contemplating to attempting suicide. The wealthy, the healthy, the A lister, it really does not discriminate.
Yet suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But for those that have suffered depression for long enough, it feels that there is no longer light at the end of the tunnel.
But there is light, hope and a reality that is available. It just takes a lot of work and effort to get through the dark valleys and into the sunlit plains.
My advice to you if you are struggling with depression.
- Learn meditation (the mind needs stillness)
- Get on a very healthy whole food diet
- Get active (the body needs movement)
- Get help by trained professionals (therapists, psychologists, nutritionists etc)
- Morning upon waking think of 3 things to be grateful for (anything…)
- When going to sleep think of 3 things to be grateful for and as you are drifting picture life in the positive, picture yourself happy, healthy and positive.
And remember it is always darkest before the dawn. You deserve love and happiness as that is at our core what we are.