I was speaking with a friend the other day who is interested to go to a Tony Robbins
seminar as she wants to see if she can get more extroverted. I asked her why she wants to be more extroverted. Her reply: hmm just think I’d get more out of life if I was more out there and when I look around on social media all these people seem to be living a larger life than I am.
Now this raises a little voice inside me that firstly can relate on a deep level, being
one that feels more attuned to chilling with a book by a fire, than a raging party, and one who also spent so long trying to force change on myself to be more out there… And yes, I’ve been to Tony Robbins seminars. They are powerful and out there…. The mans a powerhouse and pretty motivating story. And definitely derived some benefit, but not sure I got what I thought I would, or perhaps I acted out differently for a little while. Bigger, bolder, stronger. That kinda drill. Not really what I authentically feel is my nature, but I played it out for a while.
It seems in life we have these expectations and projections that being different to who we are is how success or happiness (some external system of measurement) will come. If I change this, that will happen. Now for sure, we may have habits that hold us back, and do not allow us to evolve – such as playing small – but these are different to what I feel may be our nature.
What do I mean by that? Well can you imagine if a sunflower looked at a frangipani with envy, as they have such a nice aroma and I do not… I want to be like a frangipani, so, I am going to go learn how to be like a frangipani. Go to frangipini seminars, ramp it right up and be the best dam frangipani ever. No matter how much effort, training or desire it has, it will never be a frangipani. It will act out for a little while until nature forces it into submission to realise, your nature is that of a sunflower, and that my friend is amazing and powerful; you just don’t see it as you’re constantly looking at frangipanis.
And should I say, also, only when in flower. They too, have times where they kind of look like dead sticks. But that is their nature and much needed, a cycle. Time for flowering and time for just letting the leaves fall to the ground.
Anyway, sure you can see where I’m going after getting a little lost in the narrative. Stop comparing, we are all enough. Shed old patterns that stop us from flowering exactly as the unique wonderful individuals that we are here to be! And if you catch yourself comparing, remember that even Frangipanis look like sticks sometimes…. Now again a caveat, not saying do not try to change to improve, life is an evolution and should involve growth, but your deepest nature has unique skills and talents honour those and let them shine, and over time all else will be forgotten!