Gosh I used to put so much pressure on the new year. Oh the clock has turned over and it’s a brand new year, big lofty goals, big aspirations, lets go! I’d race into the year pumped and excited with my almighty self chomping at the bit. Then if I didn’t achieve the goals it sucked big time (below I share how to go for goals but not get jaded if they don’t pan out).
In fact so many times I would set so many lofty goals “to be the biggest, best, self, huge year ahead…” and fail to reach them. Year in year out, I would rinse and repeat. But for some reason I kept sabotaging these goals. It sucked, or did it.
I look back and see that these egoic goals were really not for my evolution but for just that ego satisfaction. And so naturally these were not in flow. So I would somehow continue to sabotage them. Sidenote, I have many amazing friends that are right into setting and achieving goals and for them it is so natural, it’s in their flow. But for me I realise my nature does not harmonise with that.
I am all for evolution but these days I just trust nature has my back and I keep moving one foot in front of the other. I have a general direction I am walking (yet open to shift and change) and may have a theme for the year ahead, but it is vague on the details. And I just keep finding that everything keeps working out. As does nature, she continues to evolve without force.
You could say, put more emphasis on being in the moment and enjoy the journey rather than continually measuring it against the success or feedback on not achieving outcomes.
So I don’t really set goals as such nor have lofty ambitions, other than let nature show me where I should move to. In other words from the Vedic philosophy “following charm”. Now caveat here, when I am low on vitality it is much more challenging to trust, surrender and “feel” that guidance. And this is where the egoic mind kicks in… “ah shivers I need to get hustling…” then after a period I realise the folly of my ways and return to charm.
In essence I liken this to the tree moving in the direction of the sun. It is intrinsic to the very nature of the tree. It does not need to go “this year I am going to have 15 flowers and we are going to be so wonderful”. The tree just unfolds naturally in that direction
Now for some of you this may seem incredibly vague. I get it. And you may want and need to chunk down to the details. Super important for some which, I honour. Again this is a matter of knowing our nature and fertlising our strengths and weeding the weeds for continual evolution.
So for those of you that set lofty goals, how do we manage this if they fail to be fulfilled.
Well… Have a Preference but non attachment.
Oh this is so powerful. When I truly grasped this it was a game changer.
We all want to live a great life, whatever that means for us individually. It is our birthright, but along the way we can minimise the suffering that comes from attachments or expectations.
As it is our attachments and expectations that create a lot of our suffering.
If you were attached to the idea of travel over the last 2 years you suffered. If you were attached to staying in that relationship forever but your partner had different ideas you suffer. You expected to get the promotion but your workmate did, you suffer. And sure, it is natural to feel such feelings, but we then want/have to move on as that is where life is. So it is important to not hold on to that which you wish reality to be, but accept it as it is and move forward (and allow the emotions to come and go).
And with our goals and outcomes we wish to achieve, we move, take inspired action and operate from the space the goals will naturally occur. Use visual rehearsal to experience it as if you are living it. Set that preference but then surrender. In other words we have a preference for them but just no rigid attachment.
This will also enable us to be flexible to make changes on the fly when reality presents feedback for appropriate change.
So in summary, set your goals or direction, check in if they feel in flow, meditate, visualise the goals playing out and “feel” it on all levels, but allow nature to take its place in your progress to your evolution. If it feels wrong, move in another direction, if it feels right, keep on path and see where charm will take you. Oh and trust and surrender. Have a preference for your desired outcomes but not attached.
That way, you win either way. And finally take action.
As per another beautiful line from the Vedic philosophies “established in being perform action”.
Oh I nearly forgot a key to this playing out successfully is your daily meditation. Each day go beyond the ego mind into the depths of your being! And then follow your desires!