One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is empowerment. Empowerment over our own lives. Yet this can also be quite a challenge.
For many of us, we feel life is or has been happening to us. Life seems to be a challenge and a strain. The situations we have been through can lead us to feel at the wrong end of the scale. While some seem to experience effortless flow and good things all the time, we seem to cop the raw end of the deal.
From relationships to health to finances to happiness. Just life in general.
We may have had something terrible to us that continues to cast long shadows over our lives.
We feel as though we are victims of these happenings—these circumstances.
For some, this becomes a home—a comfortable space where we reside.
But the shitty thing about that space is that we are more likely to continue to cultivate situations to confirm our victim-hood. However, at some stage, we need to shift this perspective. That is if we do want to move to an empowered and happy life.
The first thing we need to do is drop the idea of being a victim, which can be hard.
I’ve got this friend who is perpetually falling in and out of love, constantly changing jobs, getting sick, continually moving around and all the time blaming the other person. Be it their ex-lover, their ex-employer, their sickness or their ex-flatmate.
I reminded them that there always seems to be the same person at the scene of the crime…
I got a blank stare, and a what are you talking about? To which I elaborated, they are the person in all these situations so surely there has to be some accountability on their part. The fact they played a role in each of these outcomes. And perhaps even created them to keep the story going. To keep embodying the victim.
Now I get it, that may seem like madness, why would someone wish to create a life of suffering and bitterness? And not suggesting we are doing this on a conscious level. For most of us, we are not. These are deep unconscious patterns.
But we need to move these patterns from the unconscious to the conscious.
To start being aware and question, why am I always at the scene of the crime. Why do I find myself repeating such patterns? Such behaviour that may “attract” those partners, those illnesses, those people or positions.
This questioning moves us from playing the victim card and can shift us to admit or consider that perhaps we have played a role in this situation.
A dynamic shift from victim to co-creator.
So Rich, are you saying even if I always get sick and battle illnesses I co-created it?
Perhaps not you consciously. But on some level your “nervous system” has. And playing victim brings with it a host of emotional content that can further reinforce and further weaken the system.
Whereas if you move to empowerment and consciousness, you can better fight illnesses. There’s been loads of research to show that our state of mind affects us on a cellular level. Thoughts have energy, a corresponding chemical reaction. Negativity is energy. Positivity is energy. One dis-empowers, one empowers.
And please understand, I truly get that some people have been through truly horrible things. And in no way want to downplay the impact they can have on our psyche.
But again, if we want to move towards a better life. Does repeating those events and playing a victim help us to be our best self? To love, to laugh to create and enjoy our moments.
We see many inspiring stories of people that have been dragged through the mud in life, yet have shifted from victim to empowered. They used those moments as a real catalyst. A moment to break free and go on to make positive changes within. While for others that have had similar experiences, it can break them and keep them stuck in these horrible patterns. For which I genuinely empathise.
Yet, if one person can make that shift, so can anybody. To use their story for empowerment.
If you find yourself in a spot in life where it feels like everything is happening to you, see if you can start to shift that to, what am I creating here, and then what do I want to create. We have the gift of desire and imagination for a reason. They are powerful tools to help us move beyond where we are.
Recently there was a friend of a friend, who got read the riot act with you have six months to live. Perhaps one of the worst things we can ever hear. That person could have chosen to play the victim card, yet they chose the empowerment approach and fought tooth and nails with positivity and moved towards what they wanted – life. They took the right actions to support this intention. They did not buy into the story and sure enough “created” a much brighter outcome with fighting and beating their illness.
And there are so many of such stories.
Perspective is truly a powerful premise.
So know that you can at any moment, shift yours from victim to empowered.
The story doesn’t end with what has happened. It is just a chapter. You have the pen in your hand. You have the ability to write the next chapter. It only takes a decision, then engage that wonderful imagination to see where you can take the story.